I think it’s really a coincidence that this interview is going live right after I chatted yesterday about achieving work/life balance, right? But If you read along (and this post is a long one), you’ll understand why this makes sense.
So let’s get right into the interview! I’m super excited about this topic. My old tagline on this blog was “an overachiever learning it’s okay to achieve”, which really was talking about creating your own definition of success and having it all. My definition is different from yours, and yours is different from mine BUT neither is right or wrong.
KIMBERLY BROWN: Thanks for coming onto Manifest Yourself, Christy! Let’s start by learning a little bit about you and why you are passionate about teaching women to have more abundant lives?
CHRISTY WHITMAN: Teaching people how to live happier, more fulfilling, wildly abundant lives is my life’s work and passion. I wrote my latest book, The Art of Having It All, especially for women because it is my conviction that every woman can have it all, as she defines it in each evolving moment of her life.
KB: What is your personal definition of having it all?
CW: Well, the first thing to distinguish is that my definition of having it all is distinct from that of any other woman. Discovering our it and our all is a deeply personal mission that each of us undertakes for ourselves. Because no two women have had the same life experiences, the same perspectives, the same goals, preferences, beliefs or ideals, no two women will define having it all in exactly the same terms. In addition, our definition of IT and ALL changes and evolves as we do. If you had asked me ten years ago what having it all would look like at that time, I would have told you that it would look like me manifesting my soulmate and starting a family together. Today, my husband and two sons are a huge part of my IT and my ALL, and – having already manifested those relationships in my life, there are of course new desires that are arising in me. This is just how life works. As long as we are alive, we will continue to give birth to new desires.
Fulfilling our genuine, heartfelt desires is a huge part of our journey as human beings, but more essential than any external situation or circumstance that we manifest is the internal feeling that manifestation generates within us. To me, having it all is the experience of knowing in every cell of my being that I already am everything that I seek, because my very nature is abundance, love, connection, joy. When I am aligned with and vibrating in alignment with this truth, I am full of myself in the very purest sense – not full of ego, but full of my original nature and allowing the highest expression of myself to come forth. The inner experience of having it all is one of being fully connected to the life force that is the source of all manifested things and to know and feel that we are an integral part of that source and of all-that-is. It is being here and present; awake and alive; not blocking or cutting off any part of ourselves, but allowing all aspects of who we are to be seen and to shine.
KB: What do you think is the #1 reason that prevents women from “having it all”?
CW: It’s simple, really. We don’t have it all because we don’t believe that we can. To one extent or another, we’ve all been brainwashed to believe in a paradigm of scarcity. As children, we’re told, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” and warned not to get “too big for our britches.” These beliefs rooted in lack and limitation get implanted in our sponge-like little minds long before we understand that we actually have the power to question them. And once they’re imprinted in our subconscious minds, these beliefs operate at a cellular level far beneath the level of our conscious awareness. Our beliefs are self-fulfilling, and they are potent. Here is a really common example:
If a woman desires to be in an intimate relationship, but has a belief that there is a scarcity of “good” single men, the imprint of that belief will actually block her from being able to perceive or let in any new or contradictory information. What she will find instead is evidence that supports the belief she already holds to be true: she meets someone she likes, but he turns out to be married, gay, or otherwise unavailable. What makes matters even worse is that the moment she has an experience that triggers her old belief, a biological reaction occurs in the very cells of her body which causes her to experience at a very visceral and physical level that her belief is in fact valid and true. This is what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy: The more evidence she finds to support her belief, the more deeply that belief gets imprinted within her.
The great news is that we all have the power to challenge the unconscious beliefs that limit us and to adopt new beliefs that expand and inspire us. Having it all is about deciding that we are capable and deserving of enjoying everything life has to offer. But until we make this decision – at the deepest level and in the privacy of our own innermost thoughts and feelings – we will not be able to entertain the idea of having it all; not even as a possibility.
KB: You mentioned in your book how important it is to be able to connect with and feel our emotions as they are occurring in our bodies. For anyone who doesn’t get this, what does feeling the emotion in your body actually mean? And why is it so important?
CW: I spent the first 25 years of my life repressing my emotions. Instead of paying attention to the information that my anger, or sadness, or frustration was trying to send me, I suppressed it by eating lots of sugar, shopping compulsively, and keeping myself so hyped up on caffeine that I’d be too busy running around doing things to actually feel. In my early 20s, my sister Terrie committed suicide. The loss was so painful that I literally could not suppress my feelings. In a sense, I was forced to pay closer attention what was actually going on within me. Terrie’s suicide was the catalyst that set me on my journey toward emotional healing – which ultimately led to a spiritual awakening. Over the next decade, I went into therapy; I learned meditation, practiced creative visualization, and most importantly, I was introduced to the Universal Laws of deliberate creation. Soon I was able to be present enough with myself to tune into the energy of my emotions rather than pushing them away, and all that I had been holding in for so long began to surface.
By breathing into our emotions and allowing them to course through our bodies as we are feeling them, we stop resisting them and allow them to be released. We are also able to understand our emotions as a guidance system that lets us know in every moment where we are in relation to where we want to be – or in other words, how much of our IT and ALL are we allowing into our experience in each area of our lives. Feeling our emotions is the key to learning to feel and direct vibration – and deliberately directing our vibration is the key to having it all.
KB: I’m obsessed with your manifestation equation since it is also in line with the work I do with private clients. Do you mind sharing a little bit about that here?
CW: There are three main factors that determine how quickly and effortlessly our intentions are made manifest, and when we apply these factors in a proportion that is appropriate to each unique situation, we easily magnetize into our lives the outcomes we desire. The Manifestation Equation that I share in the book is as follows: Clarity + Alignment + Action = Manifestation
Clarity, intention, and action represent the external, masculine side of manifestation. Alignment, detachment, and allowing represent the internal, feminine side. When internal clarity is met with non-resistance, the masculine energy of intending is joined with the feminine energy of allowing, setting into motion the alchemical process that all creation is predicated upon – whether it’s the creation of a child, the erecting of a temple or the birth of a galaxy. When you then add physical action into this equation, you summon the power to manifest anything you desire.
Intending and allowing are equally important in the manifestation equation, but every situation calls for a different degree of each. The bigger our goal and the clearer our intention, the more allowing is needed. Having mental clarity about what it is we want while at the same time maintaining a feeling state of allowing and non-resistance will always draw it towards us. It is the combination of feeling good, excited and content with what is, while at the same time being clear about what more we want, that opens the door for more to come into our lives.
KB: If my readers could do just one thing today to start moving towards having it all, what would it be?
CW: Begin to explore what having it all would look and feel like for you – right now, at this point in your life. Let your imagination expand to create a vision of all that you desire to create – physically, emotionally, socially, financially, and spiritually. Visualize a reality in which your desires manifest naturally and easily, and in which you experience all the joy, health, success, abundance and fulfillment that you desire. What are the things that truly bring you happiness? What conditions or experiences have you always wanted to create? If you could design your life to be amazing beyond your wildest imagination, what would it look like? And most importantly, how would it feel? The more deeply you can connect with the feeling state that is the essence of your desire, the more magnetic you will become to attracting it into your life.
I also welcome your readers to visit www.TheArtOfHavingItAll.com, where I will lead them through a free, experiential, guided process that will support them in creating a clear image of what having it all means to them.
KB: Anything else that you would like to share? And, of course, how can we stay in touch with you?
CW: I guess the last thing I’d like to share is that there is no end goal; no finish line. We are always in the process of creating. Life is a process of defining and redefining what we want, and as a result, our desires are continually under revision. Each new mountain we reach the top of expands our view and allows us to see the next mountain we want to climb, and the next one after that. You can be aware of an unfulfilled desire and still have it all. Having it all is not about reaching a certain destination. It’s about having access to all of yourself, in any moment you choose it, and in every aspect of life that is important to you. It’s available in every moment.
Christy Whitman is a New York Times bestselling author, transformational leader, and author of the forthcoming book The Art of Having It All. She has appeared on The Today Show and The Morning Show, and her work has been featured in People Magazine, Seventeen, Woman’s Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others. As the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction coaching certification program. Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches, and coaching sessions and products. Christy’s life-changing message reaches over 125,000 people a month, and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Montreal with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim.
***I really hope ya’ll enjoyed this interview! Christy gave SO much insight.***