I read this article on Medium the other day and it hit me hard. I’ve been blogging in some capacity since 2010, and I don’t think I’ve ever blogged (or been creative) and not worried about the perception of others. I’ve always wrote like the world was watching… even when Google Analytics confirmed that I had 5 views…per week… maybe. I’ve never really had the “go big or go home” mentality.
Who am I kidding? I didn’t have any views in the beginning since I knew nothing about key words, SEO, or graphic design so my @blogspot.com blog wasn’t exactly the most attractive location.
And even if you were one of those lucky 5 people, I was blogging under an alias for quite some time. As a child, I loved Clueless and Stacy Dash was my favorite character, so I used the name Stacy. (*note: I am no longer a Stacy Dash fan, but I will give her props for aging so gracefully!) There was even an overly dramatic unveiling of myself when I was ready to step out into the light. At that time, I think I averaged about 100 page views per day.
And now – well – I’m all out in the open.
My current job knows that I have a blog and do private coaching outside of work. Ya’ll know that I work in career services at a university. It’s all come full circle – and I have a lot more page views now too.
But – I still blog the same way I did when I had none. I don’t take too many risks here. I like to keep everything fairly PC – just in case someone is watching. Now, I’m not exactly who this someone is, or why they would be watching, and this someone probably wouldn’t talk to me – since they don’t know me…. but I write to make sure this someone doesn’t get their feathers ruffled.
My brand is calm, cool, and collected.
I debated over using the work “shit” in my newsletters, even though that’s a regular part of my vocabulary.
I don’t like to talk about anything too jarring like my views being a woman, being an African American, politics, adoption, or even my divorce except for this one post.
I never speak negatively about a brand or an experience on MY.
I basically like to keep things light, fun, and informative. But that’s not life, ya know? Lately, I’ve been a little off and I talked about that a bit, but I always fear that if I share too much that people won’t be interested. I’m also trying to do a lot behind the scenes with MY. I want this to be fun, and also a form of an online journal for me personally BUT more than that, I’d like this place to be a resource.
And changing up my usual attitude (tread lightly so if you make a mistake, no one will notice) isn’t going to fly. And in all honestly, I’ve really been working on being much more authentic in real life, soooo I’ve got to make some changes online too.
Just like the article says – we’ve (and by “we”, I mean “I”) got to create like nobody knows OR cares who you are [am].
BUT that is a feat in itself. It’s hard to be shameless. Self promotion can feel gross. Authenticity can leave you vulnerable. And by golly, what if you FAIL? And the whole entire internet sees you fall flat on your face, break your nose, and scuff your knee. Nobody wants to bleed in public; that’s gross.
But if you don’t try, then you never have the chance to succeed.
If I don’t try then I will never give myself the chance to reach my own greatest potential. So I’m trying. Like for real, for real. I also read an article on Medium about not talking about all of your plans because sharing can give you the same emotional high as actually doing – so you are satisfied without doing any of the work! Crazy, right?
So I’ll keep my mouth shut, put my head down, and work on doing big, epic, ginormous, monumental, life *effing changing shit.
If you’re still reading, I think that you should go do something big too. If you’d like (cause I’d like it too) share a time when you created or tried something epic and it didn’t go well. I know we all have a story… or two… or twenty.